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    July 29

    又一年

    这个space就像是早已被我遗弃的孩子,因为它装载了太多的我曾试图抹去的记忆。然而今天莫名的走进了这里,于是我又重拾起了曾经的点滴。虽然有很多事情是不需要通过这种方式拾起的,因为有太多的事情是不可能再被抹去的。看到去年生日前留下的种种感慨,经过一年漫长岁月侵蚀的我,现在已经遍体鳞伤的我却从慢慢舔拾伤口的日子中成长了。在这一年里我经历了太多太多常人无法想像的伤痛与磨难,但我坚强的挺下来了。曾经的种种已经成为我永不可忘的记忆。一年了,太多太多的感慨,不知为什么每每恰逢生日来临时我就会莫名的感伤。昨天某个曾经伤我很深的人让我再一次的为他流泪了,然而这次是第一次被感动的流下了眼泪。突然觉得命运真的很喜欢捉弄我,然而真心的说我真的怕自己承受不住,真的,我还没有你们想像的那么坚强。明天我就22岁了。难忘阿。真的不容易跨入这个年龄的门槛。真的是越过一切艰辛与痛苦走来的,我真的自责了,自责我的不争气,气愤我每每生日的时候都会哭。经历了这么多,我想我应该学会坚强了吧。也许有人会笑说,小屁孩儿哪那么多感慨,人不大感伤倒挺多,但是我想说我已经尽力控制自己的情绪了,我的感伤远远不止这些。好了,明天就是新的一天了,新的一岁就在眼前,会有什么新的生活等着我呢,我真的不感再去期待。不过真的谢谢那个在生日即将来临的时候让我感动的落泪的他。不过再一次被爱的滋味我真的不是想像中那么甜,它是那么的苦涩,苦得让我想逃避,真的想逃。七月生的我收到了代表七月的红宝石心型项链。一切的一切的来得太突然了,我从未想过如此冷酷的一个人能有这份心思,可以看出真的用心了。但是我应该接受么,我能对这颗心负责么,谁又能知道呢?!
    ps:明天我要吃黑森林

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    奕南 张wrote:
    伦敦时间2006年7月30日2:20,生日快乐啊!每年好象都跟你说生日快乐,但好象都没碰到过一起.呵呵,反正快乐就行了,感慨是要有的,有些事情要想清楚再去做.对自己好一点.OK?
    July 30

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